The Very Bad, Horrible, No Good Day

Or, Observations From Another Day in Suburbia

It started with me not wanting to get out of bed.  I haven’t really wanted to since we started back to school last week.  I like the holiday schedule better.  It didn’t help that my right shoulder is playing tricks on me, as in not wanting to work, at all!

I hollered at my youngest to get out of bed and started on lunches only to realize we had no bread.  Yesterday I realized we had no turkey so I had made chicken salad for the boys, just to mix things up a little and to avoid a trip to the grocery store.  I did not leave the house at all yesterday and didn’t want to break my record.  No bread, no worries.  My dear sweet husband bought me a Starbucks Christmas mug over the Holidays and I get free coffee every day in January; yes, every day.   True confirmation that he loves me.  Anyway, I decided that I could jump in the car, run to Starbucks drive up (there are four locations within a mile of my house) and get my free coffee and buy two croissants and solve my lunch problem all with one quick drive.  I quickly decided to switch from pajama pants to sweats, thank goodness, but just donned a jacket over my t-shirt.  I pushed down my overly abundant waves on the top of my head and got ready to go.  The zipper on my jacket split from the bottom up and I halfway attempted to fix it while yelling at my youngest to get out of bed for the third time.  The split zipper and the idea of me going out of the house half dressed to be seen should have been a harbinger of my morning, but alas, I left anyway.

I almost took older son’s newer car as it was parked behind mine, but since there was moisture on their windows, I took the younger son’s car so it would be ready for him as he had to leave early.  That was my second mistake.  I arrived at the Starbucks and was happy to see it was a relatively short line.  I pulled up and placed my order and quickly arrived at the window and handed them my coffee mug while they handed me the croissants.

While I was waiting for them to fill the coffee I noticed the radio quit.

Then the lights on the dash flickered and the car died.

I mean really died.  As in not even shifting to neutral, died.

Right there at the Starbucks drive up window.

At 6:30 on a Tuesday morning.

Did I mention that this Starbucks is located adjacent to the largest highway in the world?

I cannot imagine how many peoples’ morning were “ruined” by the crazy lady in the drive thru.  Thankfully the Starbucks crew were kind and immediately re-routed the line to handle their needs.  I started calling my towing service and noticed my car lights started coming on and off and then I noticed a sheriff’s officer getting in his car directly in front of me.  I jumped out and asked him if he could jump me.  Well, my car, anyway.  He asked if I had jumper cables and I said I was pretty sure they were in the trunk.  I went around got the keys, opened the trunk, but of course this is a Monday on a Tuesday and their were no cables.  The officer had already pulled up in front of me.  I told them I was missing my cables so the Starbucks guy said he had some and went to his car.  In the meantime, the officer opened his trunk and said, “It’s your lucky day!” as he dug out some cables.  Funny, at this point, I was not feeling very lucky.  The Starbucks guy headed over with his, bless his heart.  I gave him my thanks and we set to jumping the car.  It started and I sat there for a bit.  The officer left and I told the employees I was headed out and they said, “Don’t go on I-10!”  I assured them my home was a few blocks away in the opposite direction.  I put it in gear and it died.  Again.  Deader than a doornail.  I was able to get it in neutral and I asked them if someone could help me push it out of the drive.  A girl and a guy quickly came out and pushed me straight ahead to a spot.  Thank goodness I barely had to steer it as with no power steering and one bad shoulder I was not going to be able to turn much.  I thanked them again and began calling my boys.

When the car first died I had tried calling the youngest.

The one who said he was getting up when I left.

The one who now needed to be leaving for school.

The one whose dead car I was sitting it.

No answer.

I tried his brother who now should be getting up for his hour later class.  No answer.  I called my husband who left super early for his workout in the parking lot of his workplace.  No answer.  I tried them all again.  I was at 24% phone battery when I began all these calls because, of course, last night in my pain I listened to a podcast as I tried to sleep and never plugged in my phone.  Now my battery was at 21%.  I tried all three again.  Nothing.  Right before they pushed me out of the drive up, the clerk asked if I wanted the sandwich and hot cocoa that some driver had left without taking.  It was obviously one of those customers I no doubt deeply irritated.  I said, “Sure” and she cheerfully said, “Maybe this at least will make your day a little better.”  Now, while waiting I would have eaten the sandwich myself, only it had chorizo  on it and I am allergic to pork.  Oh well, I will give it to the tardy son, if he lives long enough to eat it.  Thinking about the sandwich reminded me of the croissants and the unfixed lunches.  I looked over and the bag with the croissants looked empty.  I picked it up, it was empty.  I looked back at my dog Miles in the back seat who was wagging his tail and smiling.   I wanted to cry but I just had to laugh.  When I laughed it made my shoulder hurt worse which made me want to cry again.

He still is thinking about how good it tasted.

I tried all three guys again.  No answer.  I tried “find my iPhone” so I could ping them all.  I was only able to log in to one of their phones and of course that one was offline.  Battery is now at 19%.  I called the school and told them younger son would be late.  At least someone answers their phone.  I tried everyone again.  No answer.  I read a few emails and an article.  Battery at 17%.   I tried both sons again.  No answer.  I looked when I first started calling for help.  I was five minutes shy of an hour passing.  At least I had coffee.  I tried my husband again, he answered!  He said he would be there soon.  He asked if both boys were gone.  I laughed, “No, they are not even up!”  We hung up.  I called him back to clarify where I was located in the parking lot.  He said he had reached our oldest son on his phone and told him to wake our younger son.  What?  His first call and he reached someone?  Are you kidding me?

He picked me up about 15 minutes later.  We drove the five minutes to home.  He fixed younger son a soft egg because he couldn’t eat the sandwich due to the recent removal of his wisdom teeth.  He took the cocoa and I told him to buy lunch on his account.  He said, “You should have known not to take my car.”  My husband said, “Yes, why didn’t you take the other car?”  Believe me I wondered the exact same thing.

 

 

 

Here are my observations from today’s adventure in suburbia:

  1.  Teach your children from the earliest age to wake to an alarm clock.  My last two are dead heads like their mom in the morning and do not wake up easily.  I am going out today to buy alarm clocks that cannot be thrown across the room (another story) and are not on their phones.  If they tamper with them, there will be no cars.  I think I am going out anyway;  maybe I will wait until tomorrow.
  2. There is no such thing as a “free” drink.  Today’s free drink cost me two expensive croissants for my pooch and an hour of my time.
  3. The Starbucks people are really nice in the morning.  Maybe coffee in the morning does make people nicer, which is how my coffee addiction got started.
  4. When you feel like crying, laugh first, it helps.
  5. Today’s problems are all “first world problems” and do not really matter in the “grand scheme of things” (mother quote).  Go be thankful for your life and brighten someone else’s day who is broken down in the “drive-up” of life.


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