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The old adage, if you want to grow in patience, don’t pray for it because you will be given ample opportunities to build it. The same could be said for parenting. As a mother, you will need to pack your patience, and you will have a lifetime of experiences to develop it.
Some of us, my hand is raised, grew up with little to no patience. Ask my mother and she will confirm as a young child I was frustrated with anything I couldn’t achieve or do quickly and easily. My husband will tell you not much has changed. However, I will say in my defense having four children and then two bonus sons, I have become more patient in my parenting and in my expectations of outcomes.
As a young first time mother, it is normal and usual to be anxious for your baby to achieve every developmental marker on time or even early. In fact, it is easy to feel quite a bit of pride in your child and your mothering abilities when they do develop early. An early walker is so exciting. Until you have your second child and then you just want them to slow down, take their time to walk because you know once they start walking it is hard to keep up with them. Even learning the different cries your baby makes and what they mean takes patience. Getting a nighttime sleep routine takes a new level of patience while you are in a sleep-deprived state, but you do it. You build your patience because you love your child and you are committed to raising this little human.
Then they become toddlers and a whole new level of patience is required. Sitting with them while they slowly feed themselves. Toilet training. Talking back. Repetitive readings of the same books. Again, you are building patience. It is often during this stage a child’s development differences may become more clear. Be patient. If you think it is a concern, speak to your pediatrician about it but resist the urge to automatically assume something is wrong just because your child doesn’t speak in paragraphs like the neighbor’s child.
When a child enters school a whole new level of patience is required. Feelings get hurt. “Homework” crowds the evening schedule. Exhaustion can be a struggle for some children. Learning disabilities may surface. Be patient when your child isn’t the fastest on the playground, the best artist in the room or the smartest at math. They don’t have to be. God created them just as they are. Can we help our children improve? Absolutely. Should we get assistance for their disabilities? Definitely. But accept them as they were created. Don’t make their differences a negative hindrance but a celebrated gift to show their uniqueness.
We struggle so much to fit in. We want to be like everyone else. But do we really? How boring our world would be if we were all just alike. Do the people who seem just like the masses, become the amazing story everyone wants to hear, read or watch? No, it is the person whose uniqueness sets them apart which can be a motivational story for all. Be patient with your child. God is working amazing things in him or her and the timing is not one that fits neatly in our planners.
Don’t forget mom to just be patient with yourself too. You weren’t a mother before you had children. There is not a one size fits all motherhood instruction manual or brainwash that happens at the birth of your child. You will grow in your mothering as your child grows. You will grow in your mothering as your family size grows. You will grow in your mothering as your children age. You will grow in your patience with your child and yourself as they enter the adult years. This could be a whole article itself.
In the meantime, just remember to be patient, do your work and in good time, all will come together. The old saying “Rome wasn’t built in a day” is true. It was built in layers. It was a process. It took time. Building your motherhood is a process too. The results will come in layers. Be patient. Don’t miss out on the good stuff while being impatient for something else to happen.
